Today's RARE TRIPLE Chuck Norris Fact:
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other bad-asses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme bad-ass. Only two showed up: Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
In other news, the sun rises in the east, the Pope is Catholic, and bears crap in the woods:
Mexican seeks chili-pepper-eating world title
I'm working on learning "Lo, How A Rose Ere Blooming", one of my all-time favorite Christmas carols, on my mandolin so that I can sing and play it by next Christmas. Seriously, it has a very complex chord structure, and my fingers are not yet very nimble on the strings, so it's been quite a challenge so far. I'm going to work on other songs as well, and perhaps by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll have down that song, and a few more.
On my wishlist is a new mandolin, with a little quicker action. For those of you unfamiliar with stringed instruments, "quick action" means that the strings are closer to the fretboard and thus easier to push down to make the note you need to make, because you don't have to push down as hard to get the strings down. I've tried several mandolins that I've seen at various music stores around here, and all of them have been better than the one I have, and sometimes it's frustrating. I'm hoping that perhaps practicing with this mandolin will actually make me a bit better once I get another mandolin, because the quicker action will be better for me after having practiced so much without it.
In the "Amazingly, Unintentionally Profound Statements By My Wife" category, Heidi came up with this gem just a few moments ago, in response to Donovan's question about what a good love color is for a Valentine's Day project he's working on:
"Love can be whatever color you want it to be."
Yet another demonstration of how amazing my bride is and how blessed I am to have her.
I promised some poetry in the title of this post, and it's time for me to deliver. First, some background: in late September 2004, I was amazingly smitten by this woman I'd met online. We would spend hours chatting online. We could talk about anything, without reservation or judgment. I had just spoken with her for the first time on the phone, when she called me to say hello while I was away in Dallas on a business trip. So I was on the flight home and I was inspired by feeling to write the following poem:
Have Nothing: A Sketch
28 September 2004
The innocent giggles of children
So completely free as they enjoy their time at play
Have nothing
On the laughter in your eyes, at play with my love.
Endless fields of new wheat
Ready for the harvest and shining in the morning sun,
Waving in the wind like swells of sea,
Have nothing
On your shimmering waves of golden hair, blown free in the breeze.
The blazing chariot of Phoebus
Drawn by his thundering steeds
And quickening the Earth with his light and heat
Has nothing
On the brilliance and warmth of your smile
As it draws me out and brings new life to me.
The finest swords of Japan,
With steel folded hundreds, thousands of times,
Sharpened so keen that a hair lighting on the edge of the blade
Is instantly cleft,
Have nothing
On the razor of your wit and intelligence
As you carve up my reasoning that falls on your edge.
The stout summit of Long's Peak,
Raw and wild, though battered by wind, water, and eons,
Standing strong as a monarch above its Front Range subjects,
Has nothing
On your unwavering strength of character
That has kept you standing
Through the battering troubles of your life.
The unbridled fury of an Oklahoma thunderstorm,
So unfathomable and unpredictable even by scholars and scientists,
Lashing the red clay with its driving torrent
Even as it provides its life-giving rains,
Has nothing
On your savage, passionate unpredictability
That pounds into my heart
To nourish the life and passion in my soul.
The glorious nine Muses,
Since ages past awakening the hearts and minds of men
To hope and dream
And reach inconceivable heights of creative beauty,
Have nothing
On the Muse you are to me
As you re-awaken my long-dormant creativity
And lift me to new heights of inspiration and creation.
And like all of these things,
I also have nothing...
Without you.
I hope you enjoyed that. I can remember writing it very distinctly, but even then, it seems as though someone else wrote it. I still feel every bit of the feelings described in the poem. Of course, my relationship with this wondrous woman continued and she later went on to become my wife. I look forward to many more years of her beauty, friendship, and inspiration.
Thanks for reading along.
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