Today's Chuck Norris Fact:
The pen truly is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
So I heard the other day that as a result of the new visa rules in the U.S., where everyone entering the country must have a passport (even coming from Canada and Mexico...does anyone coming from Mexico even bother carrying ANY sort of papers???). Apparently, they go by the book in Canada; by Canadian law, every Canadian citizen must celebrate his or her 24th birthday in Canada or lose their citizenship. Many Canadian citizens did not, and were thus removed from the citizenship rolls in their home country. One lady was in her 70s and found out that she had not been an official Canadian citizen for over 50 years.
And they make fun of OUR laws?
I was also thinking about the "truths" that used to be no-brainers...so obvious they didn't need mentioning or pointing out, so common they were taken for granted. These "truths" have all become not-so-truthful, thanks to a combination of current technology and the tort-law industry. Here's just a few I thought of:
Privacy -- This one is so obvious it's not even in the Constitution. It used to be pretty easy to get privacy; all you had to do was walk outside your house about 100 or so yards out into your field and voila! Instant privacy. We don't quite get that today, do we?
Personal information -- along the same lines as privacy; I mean, seriously, who DOESN'T know your Social Security Number by now?
Common sense of our fellow man -- This one makes me always makes me laugh, if only because people seem to have gotten stupider as time has gone on, especially over the past 30 years. I mean, if McDonald's can be successfully sued by a lady who spilled hot coffee in her lap, and if Planter's is so afraid of being sued that they put the warning "Contains nuts" on the label of their cans of peanuts, I'd say it's about time to assess the future of the human race.
I've come up with a system for measuring the possibility of another driver you see on the road being a jerk. This is by no means scientific, obviously, but it does come from my own personal observations from all my driving over the last several months. When I've seen someone driving aggressively or erratically, I've made a note of certain aspects of that vehicle. Basically, here's how the system works: when you see another vehicle, certain aspects of that vehicle's appearance can be used to gauge the likelihood that the driver is a jerk and will drive aggressively (and thus should be avoided). These aspects translate to points that may be added up, and the higher the points, the more likely the driver is a jerk. You might call this "profiling", but humans have been doing this for thousands of years, and we're still alive. So I'd say that most of the time it works (again, my personal experience backs this up).
MODEL
If the car is a ...
Honda or Toyota minivan, add 1 pt.
Mercedes Benz, add 2 pts.
Ford Mustang, add 3 pts.
VW Jetta, add 4 pts.
Large SUV (Suburban, Excursion, Tahoe, H2, etc.), add 5 pts.
BMW, add 6 pts.
Sport/racing motorcycle, add 7 pts.
Compact sports car (e.g., Subaru Impreza), add 8 pts.
Audi, add 10 pts.
Mid-sized sedan, subtract 3 pts.
Small SUV (RAV4 or CR-V), subtract 2 pts.
ACCESSORIES AND APPEARANCE
If the car has...
Decals relating to motorcycles in any way (e.g., "West Coast Choppers"), add 1 pt.
Flames as a decoration in any way (paint, detail, chrome, grill, etc.), add 3 pts.
Ground-effect lighting, add 4 pts.
Cheap-looking, after-market spoiler or aerodynamic accessories, add 5 pts.
Fake testicles hanging from the trailer hitch/bumper, add 7 pts.
Bumper sticker with liberal or Democratic candidates, slogans, or ideals, add 8 pts.
Ski rack, add 10 pts.
Religious decals of any kind, subtract 2 pts.
Decals or emblems for auto parts or products (e.g., STP or K&N Filters), subtract 3 pts.
Mismatched paint or visible dents, subtract 4 pts.
DRIVER
If the driver is...
Smoking while driving, add 2 pts.
A middle-aged blond woman, add 3 pts. (If you can see the roots, add 5 pts. If she's also wearing large sunglasses, add 7 pts. If she doesn't need the sunglasses, add 10 pts.)
On a cell phone, add 4 pts.
A 30-40-year-old man on a cell phone, add 6 pts. (If he's wearing sunglasses unnecessarily, add 8 pts.)
Wearing glasses, subtract 1 pt.
Smiling, subtract 3 pts.
Older than 55, subtract 5 pts.
As you can see, I've been thinking quite a bit about this. I've had a lot of drive time lately, and it's been pretty easy, because these have been so consistent. For example, if I had a penny for every time I've seen someone driving an Audi with a ski rack cut someone off or tailgate someone, I would have retired quite some time back. I urge you to try it out. In fact, see if you can come up with a few rules of your own, and send them along to me.
Are labor unions really worth the trouble any more? Do they do anything other than let unmotivated, unambitious workers keep the jobs their grandfathers had 80 years ago? I can respect the need for unions...100 years ago. I can understand how they did great works during those times. But today, they're nothing more than a hindrance to American productivity and innovation, and frankly, they should probably be shut down. I've talked about this some in the past, but nearly every time I see a news story or hear something where a labor union is involved, I end up laughing by the end of it.
You know what would happen if all those workers didn't have a union they could run to? They'd have to COMPETE, just like the rest of the world.
Just the other day, I've seen even more proof that if you want to seriously compete for American business and American money, you MUST speak English. I am working on a software evaluation project for a client, and I found a product made in Russia. It was clearly a nice product, not everything the client wanted but a good amount of it. However, the marketing copy on their website was so poorly translated, I wasn't interested in continuing my research into their products. The language had become a hindrance to their ability to keep me interested. They need to make an investment in a good translator and really write some good American marketing copy. I think this will become more and more of an issue for overseas companies competing for American business.
I have a few major changes coming up for me, so please pray for me for God's blessings in the following areas:
1. I'm about to apply to the Masters program at University of Denver, in their Information Security Management degree program. I'm hoping to start by end of February. That will be a HUGE step for me, but one that I'm hoping will pay dividends (especially considering that it will allow me to continue teaching and thus pulling in some decent extra money).
2. I'm hunting a new job. The consulting world just isn't for me. I'm an enterprise guy, and I need security work. If you slow down in any part of IT, it passes you by, and information security is no different. Since I'm really not getting much security work in my job, I need to get back into it before it leaves me behind for good.
3. I'm taking a new tack with the kids, and we're starting our new court-ordered 1-week-on/1-week-off schedule. I have the kids every other Monday afternoon through Monday morning. We had our first week of it last week, and it went really well. Connor did wonderfully! Katie has not yet adjusted, and I'm going to let that go. In fact, after meeting with the kids' therapist last Friday, I'm not certain Katie will ever come around and she might even be a lost cause (but that's another story for another post).
4. Heidi's in the home stretch now, just over 9 weeks to go and the baby will be ready to come out. We're both looking forward to that happening.
So again, please pray for me. Thanks for reading along.
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