Fatigue

So the move is done. There are still a few remaining details to work out, and ALL of the unpacking to do, but it's done. We're all here. I still have to work out the details of getting Katie and Connor here...there's quite a battle left there, I'm afraid. Their mom won't agree, of course...mostly out of spite, I'm afraid. Lisa just does things her own way. One day, I'll never have to speak to her again, and as unfortunate as it is for me to say it, I look forward to that day.

How many decisions have you made in life that you regretted? I don't have many, but I do have one or two that I would probably take back, if I could...

I've been very tired lately. I think all the stress of the move, plus all the extreme mental and physical activity involved in performing the move, plus the financial stresses involved for us before, during, and after the move, have all combined to weigh on me pretty heavily. I am very glad to be home, though. I draw such energy from this place...I always have. It was never more evident than when I would come home to visit while I lived in Colorado. Right after I got home, I could feel the energy...I need more of it, though. There's still so much to do right now, but God willing, things will calm down soon.

One final point: to any who were offended by my last post, I am sorry you were offended. However, I am not sorry for my opinions. My opinions are what they are. I dealt with living in Colorado with as much patience as I could muster. I will admit, I received opportunities for my career that I might not have received elsewhere. There are some things about Colorado I will miss. I am not sorry to have left, though...that was always the plan. Anyone who knew me for any length of time also knew that I had no plan to stay in Colorado any longer than necessary. The only reason I stayed as long as I did was for Katie and Connor. When Colorado couldn't even provide me a job that wouldn't either wreck my career or severely disrupt my finances, when I could no longer provide for my family there, it no longer made much sense for me to stay. I never had any ties there, nor even liked living there much, even when times were good. All that I needed to stay was a job, and I couldn't get one...I tried and failed in that regard. So it was time to move on. I was bitter about my continued residence there but I don't live there any more. Soon I probably won't even talk about it any more, and eventually I won't even think about it.

Now, all that being said, my opinions are mine alone. I might express them to others...loudly...but I do not expect others to agree with them or espouse them. I do not poison minds, I do not brainwash...that's not how I live my life. I can't and won't muzzle what I think for the sake of others who might believe differently, ESPECIALLY in a place such as this. I have nowhere else to express openly how I really feel, and sometimes I don't even put down everything I'm thinking or feeling here, for the sake of others who might read it. My last post was, frankly, VERY mild and noninflammatory compared to some things I have thought, felt, and said about Colorado and my time there. Be happy that it was.

In the meantime, I am still regularly receiving questions about why I left Colorado for a place like Oklahoma, because there are very few who seem to be able to fathom it. All I can say is, Oklahoma is my home. If I couldn't stay in Colorado and continue to do my duty, it was the only place I would have gone. Anyone should be able to understand that.

Thanks for reading along.