Caucuses Suck, Primaries Are Better

I was all fired up to go cast my vote tomorrow. I was ready, I was planning my schedule, because surely Colorado is intelligent enough to not do that stupid caucus BS like those weirdos in Iowa.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

For those of you who don't appreciate the distinction, in a primary, you have an entire day, just like normal; you go to a polling place, just like normal; and you cast your vote, just like normal. In a caucus, you go to a "neighborhood meeting," as though the political process is some community-based thing like PTA, going to church, or boozing it up with friends at the local pub. (This whole caucus thing is great for me because, you know, I spend a lot of time hanging out with our local party hacks, and hobnobbing with Republican bigwigs.) You have to schedule your time to go to your caucus, rather than being able to find time in your own busy schedule to cast your vote, like you do with a primary. In other words, caucuses disenfranchise many voters who already have a full plate of crap in their life and don't need to try to shoehorn in yet another event, and who don't necessarily want to go argue with people in their own party about who should represent whom (don't we already argue enough with the other party?). I would further argue that this not only discourages regular, average citizens from participating, both in its format and in its timeslot, but it actually makes a caucus less representative of the wishes of those within a particular state's party. My caucus isn't even at the same polling place! Our listed polling place for voting in a regular election is City Park Rec Center, but our "neighborhood meeting" is at Mandalay Middle School, yet another confusing impediment to actually discovering the will of the people. Primaries let you vote when you can, no excuses; if you can't find 15 minutes in a 10-hour polling day to vote at the same place you do in every election, it's your own fault. I like being able to go, cast my vote, and get the hell out, without having to yak with a bunch of people about it.

So to make a long story short, Colorado has a caucus. This means I will not be getting to vote tomorrow, because I have to teach class, and even if I didn't, I have children who have activities. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. There are lots of things that Colorado and its citizenry haven't yet grasped, like inexpensive license plates for cars, or understanding the importance of keeping your hard-earned cash rather than ignorantly handing more of it over to an inept, corrupt, inefficient Democrat-run state government just because they ask you. Message to Colorado and all those other caucus states: get a real electoral process. Switch to a primary so that everyone gets a chance to do their thing, on their terms, not yours. In Colorado these days, it's snow and caucuses. Life is good, no?

Thanks for reading along.