Careless Parents, Two More Days, The Essence of Comedy, and Other Musings

There has been a terrible rash of careless parents lately that has resulted in tragedy, involving everything from moms racing trains and losing, to leaving infants and toddlers in hot cars for long periods of time (we've seen lots of these lately), to accidentally ODing a toddler by cleaning his nose with a cotton swab used in a meth pipe. Please note that I'm not talking about negligent parents, although a few of these examples certainly border on negligence; I'm speaking of parents who, through habit or preoccupation or mere self-centeredness, have done things with their children that have led to terrible results. I'm sure that throughout history there have been all sorts of accidents, but I think today's parents have additional issues because of the increasing pace of life, as well as the "me first" mentality we've seen increasingly since the mid- to late 1960s. (There's also an argument to be made that we hear more about these incidents today thanks to the combination of modern technology and slow news days.) I know it can be difficult as a parent, but you have to be smart about it and take care. I don't know if I'd be racing trains or leaving drug paraphernalia around with my kids. I might be absent-minded and I do have a lot going on, but I am pretty sure I would never leave a small child in a hot car during the summer. "What were you THINKING?!?!" doesn't do it justice, really. Unfortunately, these parents end up paying for their carelessness with their kids' lives, and that alone makes it ever more horrible. I wouldn't pile on by scolding. They get to live the rest of their lives remembering the results.


I had a funny conversation just this morning with some of the guys at work, discussing comedy like Jackass: The Movie and Borat and the like, and during that discussion I came to one very important conclusion about the essence of comedy. You can try anything you like to make people laugh, but when all else fails, just kick a guy in the nuts. That always works. As Homer once said, "But...THE BALL!! HIS GROIN!!! IT WORKS ON SO MANY LEVELS!!!" Point made.


Just two more days until the big showdown and I'm totally stoked! I am getting a bit weary, though, of the constant discussions and comparisons to the mid-1980s, and the Switzer-vs-Johnson battles that presaged the death of the wishbone, and the lost opportunities for OU, and the chance for revenge, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. Yes, this is a huge game. Yes, for some folks there will be a measure of vengeance involved. And yes, when OU wins on Saturday, there will be a huge measure of satisfaction, even though it's still a down year for the Hurricanes, who are a shell of the juggernaut they were a few years back. Honestly, though, I'd much rather see OU kick the snot out of USC or Notre Dame any day. There's a lot more history there for long-time fans.

In fact, I'm going to quickly list my OU "s***-list", the teams who, through either repeated trouble, distant huge moments, or more recent travesties, are the teams I will always want to see lose (and ESPECIALLY, lose to the Sooners). Here's what it looks like:

1. USC -- These guys are now and always will be #1 on my list. This goes back to the early 80s for me, when I watched them defeat OU in LA. It continued on my birthday in 1992, when USC came to Norman and plastered my beloved Sooners (happy birthday, Chris!!). It locked itself at the top with That Game from early 2005, which nothing more needs to be said about.
2. Notre Dame -- Notre Dame used to be first on this list, but the more I thought about it, the more I feel comfortable with them in the #2 slot. This one goes two ways: first, I'm one of those folks who really hates Notre Dame. Sure, they have a great tradition, but that has led to ridiculous exclusive TV contracts, preferential treatment in the BCS, and the benefit of the doubt in every poll in every season. No other team gets these things, and frankly, no team, not even Notre Dame, deserves them. What the Irish get from the college football establishment is, well, un-American. Add to this ND's defeats of the Sooners that bookend the NCAA record 47-game winning streak, and a few other defeats like the 1999 Irish victory that should have belonged to OU, and Notre Dame sits here and will always sit here.
3. Any team coached by Les Miles (actually a VERY close third) -- I admit that successful coaches need a bit of swagger, an attitude that borders on overconfidence. Unfortunately, while Mr. Miles is a very good coach, he also takes that attitude too far and has crossed the line into "brash, classless loud-mouth". He last popped off in 2003 while head coach at OSU, when he made a smart comment about OU: "One of these teams is Number 1 in the nation, or so we're told, and the other is darn good." OU responded with a solid 52-9 drubbing. And now Les has moved on to LSU, and I get a feeling we're somehow destined to meet him again soon.
   
4. Texas -- For true fans, I don't really need to say anything further. This has been tempered a bit by the strength-of-schedule concept, which demands that Texas play well against everyone except OU so that OU looks better. There have been many defining moments in this storied rivalry, including Darrell Royal's defection from his alma mater and later accusation's of spying. The one I remember most, though, is the notorious 15-15 tie from 1984 that should have been an OU victory, after a few highly questionable calls on the field. I am almost always happy to see Texas lose. The lone exception was their game against USC for the 2005 National Championship, and even then, it was one of the toughest decisions I ever had to make. Dad and I even talked about the incredible moral and ethical dilemma of choosing between the Longhorns and the Trojans. In the end, conference loyalty won out, but that's the only time.
5. Oregon -- After last year's travesty in Eugene, Oregon will forever be one of those teams I will cheer against. We watched the game at Jackson's in downtown Denver, and by a strange quirk of fate, the local Oregon alumni club was watching in the very next room. After the game was over, those same fans from Oregon were classless in their taunting, something I don't ever forgive. Finally, to this day, I have yet to see an Oregon fan admit that they got a victory against OU by crooked means. (I mean, come on...even Mr. "Pac-10 Forever" himself, ABC's Dan Fouts, admitted that OU got the shaft and had a victory stolen at Autzen Stadium that day...why can't you?) So, Ducks fans, welcome to The List, and enjoy your stay...you'll be here a VERY LONG time.

So that's it for today. Thanks for reading along.