Clash of the Titans

Phil and Tiger are paired up for the first two rounds of the US Open this coming weekend. That's right, starting Thursday, two of golf's biggest names will be playing together...for TWO DAYS. Imagine THAT crowd, eh? This enormous mass of humanity moving over the course, following these two studs. I bet the astronauts call from the International Space Station to ask about this dark, moving blanket they've spotted moving slowly across southern California, roughly in the vicinity of San Diego.

Even more amusing to me are the stories about Phil and Tiger playing lots of rounds at Torrey Pines over the past few months. In fact, Phil has played it at least every other week this year, because though he spent a great deal of time on it and won several matches and even the Buick Invitational there one year, it has had some redesign done. Torrey Pines is a public course, so anyone can play it. But can you just imagine the guy taking tee times in the clubhouse? Here's how I imagine it happening:

RING...RING...RING...

"Torrey Pines, may I help you?"

"Hi, I'd like to reserve a tee time for next Monday morning on the South course."

"I've got a 8:30 am open."

"That works."

"How many?"

"There will be three of us."

"Your name?"

"Mickelson."

"......yeah, sure."

"No, seriously, Mickelson. M-I-C-K-E-L-S-O-N."

[chuckling] "OK, Mr..." [snort] "Mickelson, I have you down. See you on Monday.

"Thank you." [hangs up]

"Hey, Bob, some guy just called...claimed his name was Mickelson. You'd think these guys could be more original..."

RING...RING...RING...

"Torrey Pines, may I help you?"

"Yeah, I want to reserve a tee time on the South course for next Tuesday morning."

"No problem...I have slots open every 10 minutes from 7:00 until 8:20, and also 8:40."

"How about 7:00?"

"Yes, sir. What's the name?"

"Just put it under Tiger."

"Right, right...seriously, what's the name?"

"Woods."

"Sigh...If you insist. Make sure Ernie and Sergio check in 10 minutes before your tee time. See you next Tuesday, Mr. Woods." [hangs up]

"We're getting nothing but pranksters today, Bob."

Thanks for reading along.